Friday, January 8, 2010

Sim Simma..Who's Got the Keys to My Porsche?

Subject: Hi from Joe

Good morning,

Your profile and pictures caught my attention. I find you very attractive and very refreshing looking, need I say more? :)

Check out my profile and photos and let me know if you're spontaneous enough to accept my invitation to take you out for a lovely dinner sometimes soon, or just a drink..

I look forward to hearing back from you soon!

Keep smiling beautiful :)

Joe's profile does not catch my attention, nor is he very "refreshing looking."

Me: Morning, Joe!

Thank you for the lovely email!
I'd prefer to date someone that lives closer to me.

Good luck on here!

JOE: Hi and thanks for replying, and let me explain if I may :) I only live 20 min from Providence, I am in Norwood. You consider that far? I hope you reconsider because I promise not to disappoint if we meet. Take a chance you will not regret it.


Me: Joe, my gf lives in Norwood and I don't drive out to see her. lol

Translation: What the hell makes you think I'm going to drive out there to see YOU!?

JOE: But I have no problem driving to Providence, I am always there and with my Porsche it only takes me 15 min lol! but hey if you're not attracted then I respect your wish and I mean it. But if it is not the case, I still would love to meet you. Life is short and I am not :)

I hope you respond back with a positive response next time :)

He just HAD to mention he drives a Porsche. So he's either ok with dating a gold digger or has a small penis.

I don't reply in a timely fashion, so he sends yet another email.

JOE: Fine be rude and don't respond, yuck..

To be honest, I'm getting a little tired of nicely rejecting these whackjobs. A little dig is in order.

Me: You must have been driving your porsche so fast you missed my response.
What's RUDE is you not waiting for me to reply and firing off another email.

JOE: I am not being mean but to read my email and not respond when I have been nothing but kind and sweet towards you made me dissapointed, I never got your
response geez lol! :) ok I am listening and it better be a good one :)

KIND AND SWEET!?!?! WTF. You sent me an email, you goofball. Should I consider those emails I get from Africa looking to give me $1 million if I open a bank account for them kind and sweet too!?

Me: I don't date men who are easily dissapointed or who overuse smiley faces.
Good luck on here!

JOE: Ok :) thanks :) good :) luck :) to :) u :) too :)

Joe :) :) :)

Good riddance.

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