Monday, October 25, 2010

My Bad

From: Pierre
Subject: Sweet love
Sorry no offence but god damm it was that bad

Was what that bad? Your spelling?

ME: ?????

PIERRE: Ur past relationships if not why so much anger in ur profile

Let's review my profile briefly. It starts with "I'm a fun AND funny work-a-holic. Life is too short to have a bad time, and thus I always try to maintain my upbeat, positive attitude. I love to laugh and try to surround myself with funny people!" That just RADIATES hostility now, doesn't it? lol

ME: Are you alright? My profile does not convey any anger.

PIERRE: Than my bad

No Scrubs

From: Jessie
Subject: omg
omfg you are so hot you make me want to get naught

From: Jessie
Subject: im the fucknig man
its all good women love me.. we should hang out, maybe .. send me some pics. i kinda like you.... god... we would have so much fun omg..

ME: WHO are you?

From: Jessie
Subject: lol..nevermind
i was just playing around... WHO are you..

From Jessie
Subject: sorry...
i just liked you... beeasy... dont get all carzy,.. its just a profile crush.... ah im tommy btw. How are you doing?

From: Jessie
Subject: nevermind
Playing games with little scubs? I bet you think, Im creepy... You're dumb then and i could care less about you. Keep getting played good luck.

Scubs? I think you meant scrubs, ding dong. I could care less about you too. lol. Glad to see we finally have ONE thing in common!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Dads vs. Deadbeats

31 year old KOOLKID "isn't seeking a relationship or any kind of commitment," smokes and wants children. Clearly, we have nothing in common right off the bat. I try to convey that to him nicely, but as the emails continued to pour in from him, I had to take a more direct approach.

KOOLKID: what you up to today hun and what you looking for on here

ME: Someone that doesn't want kids.

KOOLKID: i dont want kids but if it were to happne ill be there for my kidbut i dont want them

ME: Really?
I just read your profile again and it says:
"Do you want children? Yes"

KOOLKID: yea i know but its not that i want them ment if it happens yea id be there

The next day....

KOOLKID: would you like mme to change that in my profile cause i will

ME: Don't change it for me. Your profile should be an honest reflection of yourself.

KOOLKID: well i dont want you thinking im lying cause im not like that just ment if it happens id be there but i dont want kids

Clearly the "Do you want children?" is misleading for KOOLKID. Maybe they should replace the "Do you want children" with "If you did have a child you did not want, would you be a deadbeat dad?"

A few hours later...
KOOLKID: ok well ill leave you be you dont seem to interested

The Dangers of Copy & Paste

Subject: Hi



ME: ??????

ROCALOVE: i am so sorry about that i accidentally pasted that on here and hit enter. really i am so sorry

i was expecting a police call all day lol

ME: LOL. Very random!

ROCALOVE: lol again i am so sorry, and wish u the best of luck on here i am about to cancel my account to many weirdo's u never know what they are going to write lol

...or what they will copy and paste! ha.