Monday, September 27, 2010

Oh you NOT fancy huh?

Subject: Hi
YANKSFAN: oh you fancy huh?

I just shake my head at the computer screen.

Subject: Hi
YANKSFAN: how bout you pop lock and drop it on my face?

This 21 year old who is interested in "sports and beautiful women" sure does act his age.

ME: If you're looking to meet someone you seriously want to date, you shouldn't be sending crude emails such as this.

YANKSFAN: No way baby I get all the horny ones and I do em real nice


Go Pats!

29 year-old Summer Love is "Looking for the right one!!"

Subject: Hey
SUMMERLOVE: Hey babe.. Would you like to chat?

I'm not a fan of being called 'babe' or 'baby' in any initial correspondence. I don't reply, so he sends another email.

Subject: Good afternoon
SUMMERLOVE: How are you?

ME: Great!

Direct and to the point. Notice I don't dive into a great discussion, because I'm really not interested.

SUMMERLOVE: So were you born and raised here?

Before I can respond, SUMMERLOVE sends another email.

Subject: hey
SUMMERLOVE: I take it you are not interested.. could have stated that from the beginning.

Call me crazy, but isn't the fact that I didn't reply to your initial email and then send a one word reply to your second email, a pretty good indicator that I wasn't interested? Just sayin' But that doesn't stop SUMMERLOVE from sending yet another email.


Why wouldn't he give me his number? Obviously, based on my email correspondence I am just DYING to talk to him!

ME:??? Why would you give me your phone number if you think I am not interested? That doesn't make any sense.

Maybe he thinks I'm playing hard to get?

SUMMERLOVE: Your supposed to call ;)

Or maybe I'm supposed to write this on a men's bathroom wall somewhere? Hmmm....

SUMMERLOVE: Would you like to go to the Patriots game?

As much as I'd love to go to a game, I think I'll have to pass on this one.

Height Issues?

Doktor is an 5' 6 "independently wealthy/head bagger" and definitely not my type.

Subject: hi
DOKTOR: hey what's going on-- am upbeat and love to laugh... do you ever get to Boston? I went to school in Providence and know the area very well--let's get together

ME: Thanks so much for the email but I'd rather date someone that lives right in
Providence. Good luck on here.

DOKTOR: maybe I'm to tall for you


Jerk-Off Pics

29 year old Joseph is "Looking for easy going Gal."

Subject: Hi
OH MY GOSH SO R SO FCKING HOT HOT HOT I WOULD HIT THAT ASS ALL DAY LONG AND THEN SOME!!! Slap that ass!!! you got a nice butt honey.. I bet your sweet as sugar too!
Girl you got it going on. Your not my type but thanks for jerk off pics ha ha lol!!!

Really? I mean REALLY!? I don't understand the mentality behind emails like these. Are you looking to date? Or just hook-up? There's a whole section on for just hook-ups. Maybe Joseph should look there. Oh and there is not ONE single picture of my ass on my profile, so I have no idea how he can infer any type of opinion on my budunkadunk. So instead of replying with a snide comment like I always do, I figure let's really ask what is going on here. So I do.

ME: Why the need to send a crude email?

JOSPEH: you don't like the fact i think your very attractive! Your like the
hottest girl on this silly site, your prob getting few hundred emails a day! later

He couldn't have just sent a polite email stating "I think you're attractive." ?!

JOSEPH: did that make you feel better?

ME: Was it supposed to?
Honestly, if you're trying to meet a nice girl to date, sending emails saying "Thanks for the jerkoff pics" isn't the way to go about it.

JOSEPH: oh if I said Hi! I'm Joseph, bla bla bla I have a degree in Business and Engineering bla bla have owned a business for 10 years bla bla I enjoy kayaking and hiking .... bla bla its boring you would not respond but if i send crap like i did i got a response and a little humor from it

Well, actually....

ME: Honestly, I would have taken you a lot more seriously had you sent something like that instead of "Thanks for the jerk off pics." I have a sense of humor, but that was crude and unclassy.

Best of luck to you on here.

JOSEPH: I you just want to hangout and go for a walk around Newport or something i would be up for that! I'm not much of a bar kind of guy I like the simple things in life.. I also have soft hands and give very good backrubs.. I also think you have the best boobies in the whole wide world!!!

Block user.