Monday, February 1, 2010

POF poetry

From: Eli
Subject: Hi
hi, my name elias.
i'm student at ccri, my major computer programming, i'm interested in drawing, playing tennis, bascketball, and much more. i've seen ur site and u seem a nice person, to be honest i wanna get to know u better. so why dont u tell me more about urself?


Eli looks like the angry artist type. He's only 22 years old.
His profile:

art poems fishing
tennis lifting bike riding
rock climbing hiking


First Date:
Anything comes to mind

Clearly, he's not THAT serious about meeting someone on here because he didn't take any time to fill out his "About Me" section. What does "AAAAAA" tell me about him besides the fact that he's lazy!?

ME: Hi, Eli. Thanks so much for the email, but I'm looking to date someone closer to my age. Good luck on here!

ELI: i am close to your age, there's a year between us not a big deal.
by the way ur gonna date the person not his age. :)
but if u looking for the most handsome guy in america, thats a different story.
but i want u to know that i really see in u the woman i wanna date.
there's 12 months in a year
4 weak in a month
7 days in a weak
24 hours in a day
60 minutes in an hour
60 seconds in a minute
but theres only one of u in a life time

what i'm trying to say that i'll probably find someone else, but not as good as u, cause ur impossible to find
i would love to have a dinner with u, so we can talk
and u can do that with a friend u dont like
so what u say?


ME: Are your math skills lacking? You're 22. I'm 28. That is not a year between us. It's over half a decade, actually.

You've come to the conclusion that you see in me - a woman you really want to date - based on my profile. However, I have no idea if I'd even want to speak to you because the only time you took to fill out your "About Me" section consisted of holding down the "a" key.

And to clarify, I don't have any friends that I don't like. If I did, they wouldn't be my friend!

I suggest you actually take the time to fill out your profile and show you're serious about dating someone instead of just filling it with "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa."

Can you tell that I'm tired of being nice to these whackjobs that JUST DON'T GET IT!?

ELI: cause when i sign in i wasnt serious about the whole dating thing over internet, till i met u. i'm sorry, if i'm been rude with u.
but we can get to know each other right now.
i'm an honest guy straight to the point.
i'm lebanese,
i live in providence.
my major is computer programming
i love to draw, write poems.
my hobbies are sports, i love any kind of sports.
i go to gym 3 times a weak
so are u from around here?
what's ur nationality?

Now, I'm just going to mess with him. :)

ME: I'll consider a date if you write me a poem.

- Princess of the Portuguese Empire

ELI: ok princess, this poem meant to be written for u
it's from my own words

your eyes like the moon shines through the night
your face like the sun glows so bright
you're like a desease cant fight

your lips like a river runs so deep
your smile like a triger put me to sleep
you're like a jewel mine to keep

your heart like a diamond forever i will hold
you're like a treasure full of gold

so we should call it a date.

ME: I'm like a disease?!? Like what? AIDS?!

ELI: not exacly. u know what i meant by saying that, i didnt say u are a disease. i meant ur like a spirit cant fight.
anyway why u changing the subeject
do u wanna be my date?

ME: No, thank you.

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