Friday, February 19, 2010

From Russia, With Love

From: SovietTiger
Subject: hi
hello sexy

By this point, I'm tired of these emails. SAY SOMETHING BESIDES HI. Put SOME effort in.

I check out this 31-year old's profile:
About Me
i m 31 years old. i came this country 21 years old.i own three resteraunts and i m very hard worker.the most i enjoy is traveling. i love going different parts of world and see and study
diferent cultures and religions. i love trying out diferent countries food.
what kind of music i like hm depends on my goal is to become one of the richest man in the world.
p.s i didnt put my picture because lots of people know me and i dont wana them caling me and teling o saw u on web side.i m kind a shi about this. i tell u what i m not ugly.i have a personal woman trainer at gym who keeps me on shape.i go gym twice a week.

First Date:
my first date i ll meet her with 100 white roses. i ll ofer her to go new york we can do shoping at 5 th ave. then i ll take her to comedy show. then we go to have a diner.if she is not drunk yet lol i l take her club and we can dance lol. i realy dont know what i will do i guess its depents on which kind a girl she will be.

WHAT!? No photo, no response from me.

But that doesn't stop our little soviet from sending me another email!

SOVIETTIGER: hi u r very beautiful i m hoping maybe we can chat

ME: You'll need to put a pic up first.

Because, let's face it. He could really be a 300lb. woman named Bertha.

SOVIETTIGER: i m so ugly camera broke down on me,
i have to first figure out how to put my picture on.or i can text u my picture if u give me your number

Calm down, KGB. Not so fast!

SOVIETTIGER: u can check my picture now

These are the photos he posts:

"age 18 serving russian special forces (bottom pic)"

This looks like he stole it from a "Join the KGB Today!" marketing campaign advertisement.

"russian intense training"

"riding in the back"

No wonder the USSR fell apart.

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