The Joke is on YOU.

FROM: UNCLERE
Subject: Hey
You had me at, "An adult beverage is appropriate for a first "interview." :)"

ME: ha. :) Thanks for the email, but unfortunately I don't date smokers.

Or for that matter anyone who lists their "Interests" as "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaa."

UNCLERE: Unfortunately I don't smoke....


ME: Your profile says.. Smoker: Occasionally

UNCLERE: I was just hitting buttons. Didn't know what to expect from this website so I was a little standofish... Can you relate???

ME: Umm. no.

Because when signing up for a DATING WEB SITE, one would naturally assume you are here to find someone to DATE. Not someone to just read the buttons you just hit.

UNCLERE: Ummm... Then why write back? I am just a new person to this and I am actually...... self conscious.

ME: Because I'm not rude and did not want to ignore your emails.
You should take time to create your profile so it is accurate.

UNCLERE: I din't know this site was actually serious.

Let's read the home page of PlentyOfFish.com:
We are the dating site your friends talk about.
1. Our members will go on over 18,000,000 dates with other users this year.

2. After taking our chemistry test we match you with personalities that lead to long lasting stable relationships. We match you with users that will meet your emotional needs.

3. Discover Your Relationship Needs. We will tell you what you need in a relationship, where you screwed up (with out knowing it) in past relationships and a customized action plan to make your next relationship successful. We will also give you 33 topics to discuss that are important for long term success.

4. We've been on magazine covers featured in the Wall Street Journal, New York Times, The Today Show, CNN, FOX and hundreds of others. But the vast majority of you hear about us because your friends have had a really good experience using our site.

5. You've got nothing to lose! Signup Now its free!


I mean...obviously I can see why he thought this site was a joke. Please.

ME: It's a dating site for people who want to date, make new friends, etc.

UNCLERE: oops... No disrespect.... good luck

UNCLERE: I am learning this quickly and I am amazed it actually works. I appreciate you showing me the ropes. I will update my profile and take it more seriously. If you like what you read send me an email sometime.

ME: Good idea.

So, just for shits & giggles, I take a look at UNCLERE's profile, now that he has decided to seriously update it.

ABOUT ME:
I like to procrastinate and be late, but most of all I LOVE to get drunk and break stuff. My favorite past time is apologizing about the stuff I did the night before. I love to read, especially with a hangover.... nothing says the morning after like cheap coffee and a good book. I'd have to say that I am searching to get a nun to leave the convent.... ditch her habit for a mini skirt, if you know what I mean. My goal in life is the same as every other American's "Get the most by doing the least."

FIRST DATE:
The perfect first date would end with us waking up forgetting each other's names.

Clearly, I am missing out on quite a catch!