Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Begging for Friends...

Meet Kenny.. a 25 year-old black male who doesn't list his profession and his only interest is "sexy." How is that an interest?

According to his profile, he is online looking for someone to "Talk/Email."

Kenny's profile:

About Me
i have this key...
it is the key to my heart
i want you to have it
please keep it safe
and do not abuse it or lose it
for i would not know what to do
you are the only person i want
to hold the key to my heart.
you are the keeper of the key to my heart

WHAT!? This tells me NOTHING about you. NOTHING.

First Date
If you want somebody rich,
don`t choose me.
There are others richer than me.

If you want somebody smart,
don`t choose me.
There are others smarter than me.

If you want somebody pretty,
don`t choose me.
There are others prettier than me.

If you want the love,
choose me.
There is nobody who loves you more than me

Kenny....THAT IS NOT A DESCRIPTION OF A FIRST DATE. If I want someone who can read and comprehend, then I won't choose you. And why can't I have someone who is smart, pretty, successful AND who loves me?

Subject: Happy Xmas
Kenny: Hey beautiful

If you're going to partake in online dating, at least READ the person's profile and comment on something that is there. ANYTHING. "Hey beautiful" is so generic.

Me: Merry Christmas to you as well.

I don't ask Kenny any leading questions, because frankly, I'm not interested.
Does he get it? NOoooooooooooooo.

Kenny: what going on with u for the day.

Geez, I don't know, Kenny. Maybe going to the store to get you a copy of Hooked on Phonics for Christmas.

Me: Opening presents.

Again, notice I don't ask anything about him!

Kenny: cool, i will like to more about u. by the way my name is Kenny.


Me: I'm looking to date someone older than me. Good luck on here!

This is my nice way of saying, I AM NOT INTERESTED. GO AWAY.

Kenny, doesn't read between the lines so well...

Kenny: wht do u mean , it not about the age, it all about the mentality.

I don't reply, so he sends another email.

Kenny: comeon, u keep viewing my profile, i no u thinking in yur mind, if ushould or not. am been real

What?! English?! And no, I do not keep viewing your profile. Trust me on this!

Me: Umm..I really haven't though. lol. Good luck on here!

Kenny just does not give up!

Kenny: am not trying to get married on here , just trying to make friends okay, we can be friends,

Honestly, do you want to be friends with someone with someone who you have to BEG to be their friend? NEXT!

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