From: Jessie
Subject: omg
omfg you are so hot you make me want to get naught
From: Jessie
Subject: im the fucknig man
its all good women love me.. we should hang out, maybe .. send me some pics. i kinda like you.... god... we would have so much fun omg..
ME: WHO are you?
From: Jessie
Subject: lol..nevermind
i was just playing around... WHO are you..
From Jessie
Subject: sorry...
i just liked you... beeasy... dont get all carzy,.. its just a profile crush.... ah im tommy btw. How are you doing?
From: Jessie
Subject: nevermind
Playing games with little scubs? I bet you think, Im creepy... You're dumb then and i could care less about you. Keep getting played good luck.
Scubs? I think you meant scrubs, ding dong. I could care less about you too. lol. Glad to see we finally have ONE thing in common!
Monday, October 25, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Dads vs. Deadbeats
31 year old KOOLKID "isn't seeking a relationship or any kind of commitment," smokes and wants children. Clearly, we have nothing in common right off the bat. I try to convey that to him nicely, but as the emails continued to pour in from him, I had to take a more direct approach.
KOOLKID: what you up to today hun and what you looking for on here
ME: Someone that doesn't want kids.
KOOLKID: i dont want kids but if it were to happne ill be there for my kidbut i dont want them
ME: Really?
Weird.
I just read your profile again and it says:
"Do you want children? Yes"
KOOLKID: yea i know but its not that i want them ment if it happens yea id be there
The next day....
KOOLKID: would you like mme to change that in my profile cause i will
ME: Don't change it for me. Your profile should be an honest reflection of yourself.
KOOLKID: well i dont want you thinking im lying cause im not like that just ment if it happens id be there but i dont want kids
Clearly the "Do you want children?" is misleading for KOOLKID. Maybe they should replace the "Do you want children" with "If you did have a child you did not want, would you be a deadbeat dad?"
A few hours later...
KOOLKID: ok well ill leave you be you dont seem to interested
KOOLKID: what you up to today hun and what you looking for on here
ME: Someone that doesn't want kids.
KOOLKID: i dont want kids but if it were to happne ill be there for my kidbut i dont want them
ME: Really?
Weird.
I just read your profile again and it says:
"Do you want children? Yes"
KOOLKID: yea i know but its not that i want them ment if it happens yea id be there
The next day....
KOOLKID: would you like mme to change that in my profile cause i will
ME: Don't change it for me. Your profile should be an honest reflection of yourself.
KOOLKID: well i dont want you thinking im lying cause im not like that just ment if it happens id be there but i dont want kids
Clearly the "Do you want children?" is misleading for KOOLKID. Maybe they should replace the "Do you want children" with "If you did have a child you did not want, would you be a deadbeat dad?"
A few hours later...
KOOLKID: ok well ill leave you be you dont seem to interested
The Dangers of Copy & Paste
From:RocaLove
Subject: Hi
Murderer
Umm..what?
ME: ??????
ROCALOVE: i am so sorry about that i accidentally pasted that on here and hit enter. really i am so sorry
i was expecting a police call all day lol
ME: LOL. Very random!
ROCALOVE: lol again i am so sorry, and wish u the best of luck on here i am about to cancel my account to many weirdo's u never know what they are going to write lol
...or what they will copy and paste! ha.
Subject: Hi
Murderer
Umm..what?
ME: ??????
ROCALOVE: i am so sorry about that i accidentally pasted that on here and hit enter. really i am so sorry
i was expecting a police call all day lol
ME: LOL. Very random!
ROCALOVE: lol again i am so sorry, and wish u the best of luck on here i am about to cancel my account to many weirdo's u never know what they are going to write lol
...or what they will copy and paste! ha.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Oh you NOT fancy huh?
Subject: Hi
YANKSFAN: oh you fancy huh?
I just shake my head at the computer screen.
Subject: Hi
YANKSFAN: how bout you pop lock and drop it on my face?
This 21 year old who is interested in "sports and beautiful women" sure does act his age.
ME: If you're looking to meet someone you seriously want to date, you shouldn't be sending crude emails such as this.
YANKSFAN: No way baby I get all the horny ones and I do em real nice
Ew.
YANKSFAN: oh you fancy huh?
I just shake my head at the computer screen.
Subject: Hi
YANKSFAN: how bout you pop lock and drop it on my face?
This 21 year old who is interested in "sports and beautiful women" sure does act his age.
ME: If you're looking to meet someone you seriously want to date, you shouldn't be sending crude emails such as this.
YANKSFAN: No way baby I get all the horny ones and I do em real nice
Ew.
Go Pats!
29 year-old Summer Love is "Looking for the right one!!"
Subject: Hey
SUMMERLOVE: Hey babe.. Would you like to chat?
I'm not a fan of being called 'babe' or 'baby' in any initial correspondence. I don't reply, so he sends another email.
Subject: Good afternoon
SUMMERLOVE: How are you?
ME: Great!
Direct and to the point. Notice I don't dive into a great discussion, because I'm really not interested.
SUMMERLOVE: So were you born and raised here?
Before I can respond, SUMMERLOVE sends another email.
Subject: hey
SUMMERLOVE: I take it you are not interested.. could have stated that from the beginning.
Call me crazy, but isn't the fact that I didn't reply to your initial email and then send a one word reply to your second email, a pretty good indicator that I wasn't interested? Just sayin' But that doesn't stop SUMMERLOVE from sending yet another email.
SUMMERLOVE: 781 XXX XX04
Why wouldn't he give me his number? Obviously, based on my email correspondence I am just DYING to talk to him!
ME:??? Why would you give me your phone number if you think I am not interested? That doesn't make any sense.
Maybe he thinks I'm playing hard to get?
SUMMERLOVE: Your supposed to call ;)
Or maybe I'm supposed to write this on a men's bathroom wall somewhere? Hmmm....
SUMMERLOVE: Would you like to go to the Patriots game?
As much as I'd love to go to a game, I think I'll have to pass on this one.
Subject: Hey
SUMMERLOVE: Hey babe.. Would you like to chat?
I'm not a fan of being called 'babe' or 'baby' in any initial correspondence. I don't reply, so he sends another email.
Subject: Good afternoon
SUMMERLOVE: How are you?
ME: Great!
Direct and to the point. Notice I don't dive into a great discussion, because I'm really not interested.
SUMMERLOVE: So were you born and raised here?
Before I can respond, SUMMERLOVE sends another email.
Subject: hey
SUMMERLOVE: I take it you are not interested.. could have stated that from the beginning.
Call me crazy, but isn't the fact that I didn't reply to your initial email and then send a one word reply to your second email, a pretty good indicator that I wasn't interested? Just sayin' But that doesn't stop SUMMERLOVE from sending yet another email.
SUMMERLOVE: 781 XXX XX04
Why wouldn't he give me his number? Obviously, based on my email correspondence I am just DYING to talk to him!
ME:??? Why would you give me your phone number if you think I am not interested? That doesn't make any sense.
Maybe he thinks I'm playing hard to get?
SUMMERLOVE: Your supposed to call ;)
Or maybe I'm supposed to write this on a men's bathroom wall somewhere? Hmmm....
SUMMERLOVE: Would you like to go to the Patriots game?
As much as I'd love to go to a game, I think I'll have to pass on this one.
Height Issues?
Doktor is an 5' 6 "independently wealthy/head bagger" and definitely not my type.
Subject: hi
DOKTOR: hey what's going on-- am upbeat and love to laugh... do you ever get to Boston? I went to school in Providence and know the area very well--let's get together
ME: Thanks so much for the email but I'd rather date someone that lives right in
Providence. Good luck on here.
DOKTOR: maybe I'm to tall for you
What?!
Subject: hi
DOKTOR: hey what's going on-- am upbeat and love to laugh... do you ever get to Boston? I went to school in Providence and know the area very well--let's get together
ME: Thanks so much for the email but I'd rather date someone that lives right in
Providence. Good luck on here.
DOKTOR: maybe I'm to tall for you
What?!
Jerk-Off Pics
29 year old Joseph is "Looking for easy going Gal."
Subject: Hi
OH MY GOSH SO R SO FCKING HOT HOT HOT I WOULD HIT THAT ASS ALL DAY LONG AND THEN SOME!!! Slap that ass!!! you got a nice butt honey.. I bet your sweet as sugar too!
Girl you got it going on. Your not my type but thanks for jerk off pics ha ha lol!!!
Really? I mean REALLY!? I don't understand the mentality behind emails like these. Are you looking to date? Or just hook-up? There's a whole section on Craiglist.org for just hook-ups. Maybe Joseph should look there. Oh and there is not ONE single picture of my ass on my profile, so I have no idea how he can infer any type of opinion on my budunkadunk. So instead of replying with a snide comment like I always do, I figure let's really ask what is going on here. So I do.
ME: Why the need to send a crude email?
JOSPEH: you don't like the fact i think your very attractive! Your like the
hottest girl on this silly site, your prob getting few hundred emails a day! later
He couldn't have just sent a polite email stating "I think you're attractive." ?!
JOSEPH: did that make you feel better?
ME: Was it supposed to?
Honestly, if you're trying to meet a nice girl to date, sending emails saying "Thanks for the jerkoff pics" isn't the way to go about it.
JOSEPH: oh if I said Hi! I'm Joseph, bla bla bla I have a degree in Business and Engineering bla bla have owned a business for 10 years bla bla I enjoy kayaking and hiking .... bla bla its boring you would not respond but if i send crap like i did i got a response and a little humor from it
Well, actually....
ME: Honestly, I would have taken you a lot more seriously had you sent something like that instead of "Thanks for the jerk off pics." I have a sense of humor, but that was crude and unclassy.
Best of luck to you on here.
JOSEPH: I you just want to hangout and go for a walk around Newport or something i would be up for that! I'm not much of a bar kind of guy I like the simple things in life.. I also have soft hands and give very good backrubs.. I also think you have the best boobies in the whole wide world!!!
Block user.
Subject: Hi
OH MY GOSH SO R SO FCKING HOT HOT HOT I WOULD HIT THAT ASS ALL DAY LONG AND THEN SOME!!! Slap that ass!!! you got a nice butt honey.. I bet your sweet as sugar too!
Girl you got it going on. Your not my type but thanks for jerk off pics ha ha lol!!!
Really? I mean REALLY!? I don't understand the mentality behind emails like these. Are you looking to date? Or just hook-up? There's a whole section on Craiglist.org for just hook-ups. Maybe Joseph should look there. Oh and there is not ONE single picture of my ass on my profile, so I have no idea how he can infer any type of opinion on my budunkadunk. So instead of replying with a snide comment like I always do, I figure let's really ask what is going on here. So I do.
ME: Why the need to send a crude email?
JOSPEH: you don't like the fact i think your very attractive! Your like the
hottest girl on this silly site, your prob getting few hundred emails a day! later
He couldn't have just sent a polite email stating "I think you're attractive." ?!
JOSEPH: did that make you feel better?
ME: Was it supposed to?
Honestly, if you're trying to meet a nice girl to date, sending emails saying "Thanks for the jerkoff pics" isn't the way to go about it.
JOSEPH: oh if I said Hi! I'm Joseph, bla bla bla I have a degree in Business and Engineering bla bla have owned a business for 10 years bla bla I enjoy kayaking and hiking .... bla bla its boring you would not respond but if i send crap like i did i got a response and a little humor from it
Well, actually....
ME: Honestly, I would have taken you a lot more seriously had you sent something like that instead of "Thanks for the jerk off pics." I have a sense of humor, but that was crude and unclassy.
Best of luck to you on here.
JOSEPH: I you just want to hangout and go for a walk around Newport or something i would be up for that! I'm not much of a bar kind of guy I like the simple things in life.. I also have soft hands and give very good backrubs.. I also think you have the best boobies in the whole wide world!!!
Block user.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)